Dark Duck 19: Gosalyn Mallard Returns to Zombie Acres
by VAPX007
Summary: Gosalyn is rewriting a recent Darkwing Duck case for her English assignment. What case does she pick? Of course, it's the Case of the Nutty Necromancer. A total creature-feature with a rotating guest list including demons, vampires, zombies, Morgana's family and will someone please give Negaduck a weapon. Adventure/Horror/Humour/Family
1. Ch 1 P1 The Size of It

_Disclaimer: I don't own Darkwing Duck. Surprised?_

* * *

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

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CHAPTER ONE

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**PART 1**

* * *

**The Size of It**

* * *

'It was a dark and stormy night. The fog was thick and made all the streetlamps look like puny fireflies.'

_Gosalyn Mallard read the fruits of her labours as she stood in front of the TV. It was Saturday after dinner and she'd been slaving away all day on this assignment and she was ready for her dad's input._

'Darkwing Duck was chasing a hooligan who'd smashed a window, when a funny feeling came over him. The crime fighter stiffened, unable to move. Then ... everything went black.'

* * *

_'That was not the way it happened!' Her contrary dad interrupted._  
_Gosalyn groaned, 'Come on, dad, it's just a story.'_  
_'Using my case file!' Drake retorted from the living room sofa. 'A little accuracy can go a long way.'_  
_'Gee, dad.' Gosalyn said cheekily, 'But what if the teacher thinks it's so accurate that my dad really is Darkwing Duck?'_  
_He scoffed. 'That's no excuse for being careless. As for the whole "stormy night" thing you want to skip on the cliché's as much as possible.'_  
_'It's not like I'm taking it to a publisher or anything and like you're one to talk.' Gosalyn rolled her eyes. 'Besides I was just setting the mood.'_

_'Anyway, isn't this story supposed to be about you, not me?'_  
_Gosalyn paused and flicked through her notebook back to the English question. 'Write a story about your favourite subject. It could be your favourite toy or movie.' She looked up at him. 'So I've titled it "Gosalyn Mallard Returns to Zombie Acres" by Gosalyn Mallard.'_  
_'Gosalyn Mallard.' Drake repeated her name. 'As I plainly recall "this" particular story all began late one school night in the video arcade.'_  
_'It wasn't that late, dad, it was-.'_  
_'It was after dark on a school night without Launchpad or me around to keep you safe.' His eyes gleamed at her._  
_Gosalyn sighed in defeat and sat down at the coffee table with a cushion under her. With her sharpened pencil in hand she opened her notebook to a fresh page._

* * *

_'It all started when two boys ... I'd better change their names ... Freddie and Georgie ... challenged me and Honker to a showdown after dinnertime with all hands on deck. With a handful of aces and a pocketful of arcade pennies, I accepted the easy challenge and soon enough all four of us kids had snuck out after dinner and were there at the arcade. The lights were low and the game machines stood back to back and side by side as the lights blinked colourfully and the tunes sang cheerfully.'_

"Come on, Honker, you can do it!" Gosalyn cheered him on as Honker came face to face with the evil Crow henchmen of Cetti Alpha Three. Gosalyn watched Honker blast the enemy space ships.

"Woo, you beat him, Honker, he's still on level 4!"  
"Rats!" Georgie cursed as he crashed his last ship. The penny arcade game sang electronically.

Everyone was watching Honker now and a few minutes later his video screen flashed with 'Game Over!' The penny arcade game sang electronically and asked him for his name to add to the high score board.

"Oh, yeah! Honker Muddlefoot: champion of outer space!" Gosalyn turned to Freddie behind. "Ah, excuse me; I believe you owe me five bucks." The boy grunted and miserably parted with the dough. Gosalyn clapped her pal's back. "Come on Honker, time to celebrate!"

They pulled away from the semi-abandoned Arcadian.

"Gosalyn, we really need to go home. We shouldn't be out here at all, it's a school night." Honker pushed his glasses back up his nose. "In fact, I still can't believe you actually talked me into ..."  
"Not now, Honker, we're going to celebrate." Gosalyn ignored his argument and waved the five dollar note in his face. "Super sized slushies." She turned and he followed on her heels.

Honker resigned himself to following her. "How'd you know I could beat him?"  
"Honker, Honker, Honker!" Gosalyn tsked. "Why are you always so hard on yourself?" She patted him on the back and then ushered him into the Last Minute store next door to the arcade.

Mr. Terrance the store manager gazed down at them from behind the counter. He was a kid-friendly guy, tall with a mild look on his face like he'd stood behind that counter so many evenings that just maybe some of his brain had gone to slush like the ice in the whirligig drinks machine. Unfortunately for Gosalyn's mood, Mr Terrance was also a parent-friendly guy.

"Do your parents know where you are?" He asked Gosalyn and Honker who'd barely made it though the door yet.  
"Come on, Mr. Terrance," Gosalyn argued, "I don't see a security guard on the door, and we're old enough to be out by ourselves."

It didn't seem like the adult believed her very much; standing there like he was, slowly thinking about what he should be doing right now. Rather than wait for him to figure it out, Gosalyn decided to take a more proactive approach.

"Paying customers," she sang, waving the five dollar bill at him.  
"Now, I didn't think you'd come in here loitering, little girl, but ..."  
"Two large rainbow slushies thanks." Gosalyn ordered.

Mr. Terrance turned away to the drinks machine. Gosalyn's sheer determination and will had triumphed once again.  
"He's got a point, Gos." Honker started up again. "What if your dad finds us missing?"  
"Dad works a graveyard shift. He's not likely to show." Gosalyn answered.

"Here you are, young Gosalyn. Now, can I get you a phone so you can call your parents to pick you up?"  
"Er, actually that..." Honker began.  
"We're fine, thank you." Gosalyn cut Honker off and handed Mr. Terrance the five dollar note and grabbed her drink.

She turned away, fuming. "What is this, a conspiracy? If I was a bit taller, I wouldn't have this problem." Gosalyn stormed over to the only little cafe booth in the store that just so happened to be under the shopfront window.  
"Your dad says you're short because you eat so much junk food."  
"No way; what does he know? Plus I'm the same size as you."  
"I don't eat much." Honker reminded her, "Tank hogs all the second helpings."  
"Anyway, dad ate junk food too when he was a kid, you can bet that, Honker. It's just he doesn't like admitting when he's wrong."

Honker went very solemn. "He sure doesn't eat a lot of junk food now." He mentioned.

His words reminded Gosalyn of the fact that just a few months ago her dad had turned into a vampire and now he couldn't drink soda-pop anymore. The 'vampire thing' came up in weird places; like in the supermarket when he left Gosalyn's side when their trolley reached the meat section. It was the smell of quietly rotting flesh that really drove him nuts. Logically, rationally, philosophically and even existentially the idea of meat didn't bother him. So from a sensitive stomach of before to a sensitive stomach now, not a lot had really changed and he was still a good guy.  
Gosalyn answered quietly. "He's alright."

They slurped their drinks for a few moments in silence, playing with the larger ice crystals with their straws amidst the bread and shampoo specials and looking out on the street.

From out of the distance there was the roaring sound of a motorcycle engine coming closer.

"Get down!" Gosalyn grabbed Honker and they hid beneath the table as the sound roared by the window. They waited, listening in heart pounding anticipation as the motorcycle noise grew distant again.

Honker blew his nose suddenly and Gosalyn squawked in fright.

"Honker!" She complained. "Did you have to do that right then?"  
"Is it time to go home now?" Honker asked coolly, putting his handkerchief back in his pocket.  
"Alright, so that was a close one, I've got to admit." Gosalyn backed down from her previous bravado a little. "I suppose it's time to go home, anyway." She looked up at the clock on the wall behind the Slushy machine. It said nine o'clock. She looked below the clock to see Mr. Terrance at the counter. He had an amused expression on his face as he blinked back at her.

With a grunt Gosalyn grabbed her slushy and checked Honker was behind her before she went out the door and they started off home.

"Wise guy." Gosalyn snorted quietly to herself as they trekked back home.  
"Who? The boys at the arcade?" Honker asked.  
"No, the milk bar guy. I bet he was a vampire."  
"Will you p-please stop talking about vampires?"  
"But it's true." Gosalyn dumped her backpack on the sidewalk underneath a streetlamp. "Why'd you think I lug this bag around everywhere lately?"  
"Uh, because you've suddenly taken an interest in homework?" That was Honker trying to be funny.  
Gosalyn straightened, "I don't believe we've met." She held out her hand. "I'm Gosalyn Mallard and you are?"

Honker didn't answer; he just looked carefully at her backpack. "I have no idea why you've started carrying your backpack everywhere." He said seriously.  
"Because ..." She opened up her metal pencil case and showed him her set of sharp pencils amidst the gleaming metal of the tin before snapping it shut and shrugging her back pack on again. "I don't want to be caught unprepared."  
"You wouldn't be caught at all if you got home before dark." Honker reminded her.  
"Now there's a zero fun way of living." Gosalyn said.

"You live longer."  
"I'm not sure if you can apply mathematics to this situation, Honker." Gosalyn advised.  
"Well, not unless it's algebra."

Honker raced to keep up with her as they approached their houses. "So what's it like having a vampire for a dad?"

Gosalyn shrugged, "Not much different. Being undead doesn't change someone. With dad, the reality is that now he's a vampire, he just goes out there and finds vampire sized problems and takes them on instead." She sighed. "I even bought one of your dad's Quackerware containers and a mini-brush; just to be sure I could rescue him if the worst happened."  
"I thought that was just your hair brush." That was Honker being funny again.  
Gosalyn snorted. "Goodnight, champ. Killer moves tonight."  
"Thanks, Gosalyn."

Gosalyn turned down the driveway and snuck back inside just as though she'd never left.

* * *

_Gosalyn put her pencil down on the fold of her notebook and looked expectantly at her dad, 'so how was that for setting the scene?'_  
_'It's tons more accurate now.' Her father approved. 'Also, establishing vampires in the first scene lends credibility to the rest of the story.'_  
_Gosalyn shrugged, 'Yeah, but it's gone a bit camp though.'_  
_'Gosalyn, your story is about zombies. Do you really want to scare your teacher into early retirement?'_  
_Gosalyn sniggered, 'That'd be way cool.'_

_Drake rolled his eyes, 'Go on, Gosalyn, as I recall we are now up to the not-stormy night part.'_  
_'Right,' Gosalyn looked down at her notes again. 'Um, let's see.' She tapped her pencil on her beak, 'how does "meanwhile" sound? Meanwhile, dad?'_  
_'How do you normally tell a story, Gos? It's not much different on paper.'_  
_Gosalyn struggled with the connective. 'I give up.'_

* * *

_'Meanwhile, little did Gosalyn Mallard know, little did the young Gosalyn Mallard know, but right at this time Darkwing Duck was getting into troubles of his own. Not your ordinary street hooligan sized troubles, but ... vampire sized troubles.'_


	2. Ch 1 P2 Evidence of Possession

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

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CHAPTER ONE

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**PART 2**

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**Evidence Of Possession**

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_'The trans-dimensional portal into St Canard isn't one that many of the more intelligent demons favour. There's a reason for everything, whether that reason makes sense or not is a different bowl of crackers. Even though St Canard is a large city and its multitude of citizens make it as deliciously attractive as a giant rainbow flavoured sundae, there's a distinct problem. It is also home to a satellite hub for the great vampire support network. The support network has existed for a few centuries now. Long enough for the kine's fear of their secretive cousins to slow their hearts to near normal at their mention; long enough for the kin themselves to grow mild and complacent to the ways of their toothless cousins._

_Status quo was St Canard. It was peaceful, calm, and unsuspecting._

_To the demon known only as "Guachi", all this meant was "time for dinner"._

_Hidden in an abandoned corner of St Canard's grand central underground train station was the ritual summoning chamber. Replacing the failed electric lights were wick lamps. They were set on top of heavy metal stands and stood around the room, at the entrance and down the corridor beyond. There was a big circle painted on the back wall with a five-pointed triangle in the centre._

_The guy operating the portal had an average height, standing in a monk's robe and holding a brand new staff. Behind him, he had four people, including an average sized dog dressed in a fire fighter's orange overalls, and a short duck in a grey-tone outfit with a matching black cape and grey fedora.'_

* * *

_'Short. That's all you have to say to describe me; Short?'_

_Gosalyn smiled sweetly at her father, 'Doesn't affect you from a psychological point of view in the slightest though, does it dad?'_

_Drake clenched his teeth, 'Do go on, child of mine who is still but half my height.'_

* * *

"Here are four undead vampires for you to choose from, your lowness." The Necromancer said in an undefined British accent. He bowed to the demon entering through the portal. It was see-through in a ghostly shape of whitish blue-."

* * *

_'Gosalyn, we don't know what colour the demon was without a host body.'_

_'Da-ad, quit interrupting!' Gosalyn complained, 'Nobody knows except Yamie but I've got to explain that scene because it was really weird and complicated-.'  
__'I'm all for pertinent details.'  
__'Scenery, dad.' Gosalyn told him sternly, 'If there's a tree, I need to write a tree. And Miss Songson told us we get extra marks for putting lots of description in.'_

_'In that case,' Drake backpedaled, 'ghostly white and blue sounds great. And you might also want to mention the floor was wet because of a busted water pipe and that the council had mysteriously lost several workers sending them down into that section to fix it over the past few days.'  
__'Oh, yeah, like you noticed all that while the Necromancer had hijacked your brain. Anyway, the council workers don't show up till way later in the zombie scenes so that bit isn't important right now.' Gosalyn snorted._

_'I hate zombies.' Drake shuddered. 'You know I have over a thousand case files that you could have chosen from and you've helped me out plenty of times. Why does it have to be the one about the Nutty Necromancer?'  
__'Because this story has it all!' Gosalyn exclaimed excitedly, 'It's the height of heights, the lowest of the lows, romance, betrayal, danger and an action packed climax filled with zo-ombie slaying! By yours truly; Gosalyn Mallard.'_

_Drake chuckled, 'Okay, kiddo, go on then.'_

* * *

_'Anyway, the demon known as Guachi had thought itself lucky to have gotten into correspondence with a negotiating Necromancer from this realm, and was pleased to see everything going according to schedule when it came through the trans-dimensional portal.'_

"And where did you find these, Yamie?" Guachi asked.  
"They were hunting, of course. I would never present a customer with weak vampires." Yamie the contract Necromancer answered.

"What is this one?" Guachi looked at the first vampire. He had a tall dog stature and was dressed in a strange orange and yellow outfit, with a huge helmet over his head.  
"That is a firefighter. This one is a security guard." Jamie pointed at the short duck beside him.  
"How dull." Guachi considered the glassy eyes and empty expressions. They were all currently under the Necromancer's mind control.

"This one is strange." He considered the one on the end that was dressed in grey and black, wearing a grey mask and a floppy oversized hat.  
"That's a vigilante. Actually he looks a bit like that annoying Negaduck that-."  
"A what!" Guachi had an instant fit of nerves.  
"Well, it's not as though you have to take up their occupation, if it doesn't suit you." Yamie advised, "You can do something else."

The Necromancer pointed to the last of the four. "That one is a lawyer." He pointed at the third one in the line, another tall dog like the fire fighter.  
"That is a more reasonable occupation, but I don't like the cut of him." Guachi shuddered at the gangly, scruffy-looking dog creature in the suit. "The ducks have more compact forms. I'm less likely to trip over my feet."

Guachi considered the two ducks, the security guard and the vigilante for a long while. "I've decided." Guachi stated. "I choose that one." The mass of unformed bio-kinetic energy pointed at Darkwing Duck.

* * *

_'Retrospect is a great thing.' Drake mused, sitting on the sofa looking down at Gosalyn, 'The only two people who knew at the time were those two conferring conspirators.'  
__'Shh, dad!' Gosalyn roused with her pencil in her hand. 'Do you have any idea what would happen if I handed in my story with your alliteration?'  
__'Oh, so you've finally learnt the perils of plagiarism. Honker will be relieved.'_

_Drake stood up, 'Drink?'  
__Gosalyn smiled up at him from her seat at the coffee table, 'Oh, a malt shake would be great, dad; thanks!'_

_'Coming right up.' He tousled her fringe before heading off to the kitchen._


	3. Ch 1 P3 My Dad

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

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CHAPTER ONE

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**PART 3**

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**My Dad**

* * *

_Drake handed down the malt shake to Gosalyn and made himself comfortable on the sofa again. 'How goes the tale of the- I mean- "Gosalyn Mallard Returns to Zombie Acres"?'_

_Gosalyn slurped on her frothy drink, 'Yum. Good.' She smiled at him and grabbed up her notebook._

* * *

_'The next morning Drake Mallard woke up in his bed at home with a sense of foreboding. He stepped over the red roller skate as he crossed the hallway. Size five, of course. He tapped it with his foot and it rolled across the floor back to his daughter's closed door.'_

Drake knocked on Gosalyn's door out of habit even though he already knew that she wasn't in there. She was at school and let him sleep in so he wouldn't see how tired she was because she'd been out late the night before. He opened the door and reviewed the mess in her room. It wasn't a mess, as such. It was a dumping ground where she kept everything till the next time she was using it. He considered cleaning it up, but resisted, and shut the door. It wasn't a real problem, there was nothing rotting or growing mould in there, it was just permanently disorderly.

Down the stairs and into the kitchen, Drake saw beside the fridge the oranges in the fruit bowl. 'Yum, juice,' he thought and fetched a knife from the cutlery drawer.

* * *

_'How's that, dad?'_

_'Nice work, Agatha Christie.' He answered, 'Although you might have to explain to your teacher about your poetic license in making your dad into Darkwing Duck.'_

_'Not at all, dad,' Gosalyn replied in certainty. 'All the teachers at school are convinced that my poetic license is out of control ten ways from Sunday.' She giggled. 'Just the way I like to be.'_

_He smiled back at her, 'You be who you want to be, kiddo. Got any more?'_

_'Naturally,' Gosalyn answered, taking another slurp of her malt shake and looked down at her notebook again._

* * *

That afternoon Gosalyn banged the front door as she came home like she usually did. "Hi dad, I'm home." She yelled up the stairs. Then, with her afternoon hunger she prowled into the kitchen and that's where she found her dad.

Gosalyn stared at him, not believing what she was seeing. Her dad was sharpening knives. "Uh, dad, what are you doing?"  
He blinked at her. "I'm sharpening knives, sweetie."  
"D'uh. I mean ... why?"

Drake Mallard was the champion of right and downright rightness. It was he who insisted Gosalyn always flossed, he who never let her near a fire axe, he who never ever kept fireworks in the house, and the single most lethal substance that lived in their home was his dreaded homemade mouthwash.

So, knowing all this about her father Gosalyn was instantly worried. "We don't keep sharp knives in the house, what are you doing?" She forcibly removed the steel from his hand.  
"I just thought it was always frustrating, cutting everything up with a blunt knife. I know how you complain when you're cutting up your roasts."  
"Well, right now I'm not arguing over the fact that the knives are blunt. Were blunt," she gazed at him. "What's the big deal to you? You don't eat meat anymore."  
"But my little girl does," he said in his annoying babying voice. Then he put down the knife and patted her head before wandering over to the lounge room.

Gosalyn dumped the knife back in the cutlery drawer and looked at the rest of the knives. All of them were now gleaming sharp. Clearly her father had been at it all afternoon. Gosalyn knew she should've been happy about finally being able to cut her steak up easily, rather than chew on large chunks like a canine, but she had a gut feeling something was off with her father's mild-mannered alter ego. He was a little too mild-mannered. This was the kind of thing people did in the movies right before they went about slaughtering unsuspecting family members. Just fortunately, Drake Mallard had none of those.

Gosalyn Mallard was on the case. If Darkwing Duck had a screw loose, she'd be right there to stop the catastrophe. She was going to follow him wherever he went.

* * *

_Gosalyn looked up at her dad. 'I was going to talk about the tracking receiver and Launchpad helping me and stuff.' She told him, 'But I figure that's too confusing so I've crossed it out.'_  
_'I think it's good the way it is.' He answered, 'So long as you don't mention the whole disappearing reappearing act.'_  
_'You mean the reason why you got it for me in the first place?'_

_Her father smiled at her. 'You know, this story is a lot better than I remember it. It shows what a responsible young adult my little girl is growing into.'_  
_'Dad, cut it out.' Gosalyn blushed. 'I've got a problem though, because you did disappear for a while.'_  
_'Oh, boy, and was that never fun.' Drake grumbled. 'So why not just skip out your part? Leave it ambiguous?'_

_'Well, I'll try.' Gosalyn looked down at her notes and took another big slurp of her malt shake before continuing on with her pencil._


End file.
